I love Fancy Fast Food… except at French prices

I love these mashups of disgustingly cheap fast food (how can it have gotten so cheap! I don't eat it anymore, but seriously… the prices are insane for a meal at these joints. I'm afraid to know what's really going into their ingredients making up those things) and cooking in order to make a fancy feast that you might see at some of these flash in the pan trendy restaurants.

I confess I've never actually tried to recreate anything (because I still won't eat fast food- well, maybe In and Out Burger if I visit someplace that has it), but I find myself drawn to read his masterpieces whenever I get a Facebook update that he's unleashed a new creation on his blog, Fancy Fast Food. He has some bizarrely good execution skills to go with his culinary imagination, and he seems like he'd be really fun to hang out with. I can't account what the stuff he makes taste like with the fast food, but I would think that if he wasn't using fast food as his staple ingredients he wouldn't be a bad cook. This past year he's finally gotten recognition for his genius, and I'm happy for him and wanted to share. I'm surprised he isn't being sponsored by Cuisinart to advertise the miraculous fancy dish you can make and fake slaving in the kitchen to, all with a food processor. Also, I like his website design skillz and writing style on his two other sites- keep it simple and let the content stand on its own, yay.

Youtube of Fancy Fast Food
Slideshow of what Fancy fast food does…

Last week I wasn't working and intended to visit some of Portland's downtown food carts since I usually can't make it there and back when I work in Beaverton, but UPS' calls to me that I needed to be home to sign for some packages kept me home most of the time. I did go out for a progressive happy hour that included Blue Hour, Oba, and Fenouil.

Of these three, I liked Fenouil the most for the good range of drinks and savory happy hour menu offerings. Blue Hour was a close second- I would have liked to seen more breadth in their cocktail menu though their Autumn drink was both beautiful, tasty, and sophisticated (all their drinks fall into their category)- but not necessarily creative and fun (except for the Autumn drink). This is something which I thought Fenouil did offer. Blue Hour's food wasn't bad, but not as full of flavor and potential as Fenouil. I like the old-fashioned drinks as much as anyone into the cocktail trend now does, but I also like new inventions, and I want to be able to enjoy both nostalgic classics (though we aren't old enough to remember them except for in movies and TV shows) and new takes with those original ingredients plus a twist of something new. Perhaps I just came in on an unlucky night- I think they rotate their cocktail specials just like a seasonal food menu. 

I've walked by Fenouil many times but never gone in because their dinner prices are pretty steep, and yet every time I am walking by I stop to look at the menu. I wish it took on more of the spirit of some neighborhood Parisian brasserie that you could stop into anytime to get hearty good food at decent prices (not cheap and simple like a bistro. but decent moderate prices with a certain level of food above simple but not fancy). Well… because it's French in the Pearl District it's not cheap, For those prices it should be fancy, darn it, it's not a brasserie (well it is because the menu and atmosphere reflects it), but it should be fine French dining if entrees are all close to $30, geez. Ah, at least there's happy hour for me to play out that dream. Fenouil is one I would definitely go back to, and perhaps Blue Hour to end a happy hour tour on a high, sophisticated note.

Yes, that means I was again not too impressed with Oba- ok, I would go again if asked, but I would rather suggest Andina instead by far. There's so many places in the Pearl to choose from, and Oba's entry wasn't quite up to par IMHO. The drink was just so-so and watered down and seemingly generic, the atmosphere was dark and noisy but also in a commercialized way rather then fun or sexy. The happy hour food I would have liked to seen be more tapas-like then a plate of say, a single taco which prompted my fellow happy hour friend to immediately order another. I don't know why none of the pictures I took were on my camera memory card, so no pics to share this time. I saw on Food Carts Portland that Sidecart, one of the carts I was planning to visit last week, has already closed, so I am determined to get out there next week.

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An evening at Urban Fondue

Urban Fondue/Bartini's Spicy Mango Martini, using their house infused chili pepper vodka muddled with fresh cucumber, and shaken with mango and lime juice, was a nice drink while perusing the menu and waiting, but I'm not sure how any of their martinis on their regular menu go with the food. I suppose that's what their happy hour menu is for… it seemed to fit in more with their Bartini front (connected, and just next door to this fondue restaurant part but with a bar feel rather then plushy booths).

I picked the starter of Ruby Port Fondue of white cheddar, Swiss and Gruyere cheese finished with caramelized sweet onions and port wine. Served with local hearth baked bread to dip in the cheese, and we also ordered (for additional prices) the sauteed button mushrooms and fruit plate (willamette valley fresh pears, apples and ruby grapes). This is always my favorite part of the fondue experience, cheese! I make a pretty good fondue myself, but the flavor of this port and onion and cheese simmered together was complex and very enjoyable, more then the typical fondue recipe would give you- now something else to think about adding to enhance cheese fondue besides upgrading the cheese or wine or beer (Guiness or interesting microbrews). The fruit and doughy bread were good accompaniments, and the sauteed mushrooms were great though a bit on the small side.

When Urban Fondue begins to prepare the table for the entree, they hand you this cute lil timer. Behind, you can see how plush this booth for 2 is!

Since it takes a while to cook your food (as evidenced by the times on the timer) and you only have 2 fondue forks a piece, you really need a side to share to eat while you are waiting. The side we ordered to share while waiting for whatever was on the end of our fondue stick to finish was the Gratin Yukon Potatoes with parmesan, black pepper, and gruyere. It was a creamy soggy mess, despite the visual tease of the oven crust, it wasn't there. Oh well… I don't like making gratins because it's time consuming to prep, but this shouldn't even count as a gratin. Potatoes are great base for flavors, but texture is so important.

The vegetarian came with these six dipping sauces for us (starting from the back, L to R) Blackberry Ketchup (yum!), Pesto, Apple Chipotle Relish, Sun-Dried Tomato Aioli (also yum), Lemon-Garlic Butter with Parsley and Caper, and Chili Vinaigrette. One thing I didn't like is that other fondue experiences I have had, such as Gejas in Chicago or the chain Melting Pot, you get a lot more per person in terms of dipping sauces to try. Since their cost is so low (just prepping ingredients and cleaning the pots which is definitely a pain), these sauces and the raw ingredients are the main differentiators that can make a fondue experience great Only the Blackberry Ketchup and Sun-dried Tomato Aioli stood out at all.

The broth we used for our entree was a tomato fennel broth, a flavorful composite of vine-ripe tomatoes, fennel, parsnips, and sweet peppers finished with flat leaf parsley and cracked pepper- at least this was delicious, we kidded about just drinking it if it hadn't been so hot. Urban Fondue's vegetarian platter includes these for dipping:  tofu, marinated tomatoes, artichoke hearts, grilled sweet onions, sweet carrots, mushrooms,and asparagus. None of these "dippers" stood out- sad, especially given the local bounty here, and except for the tofu, artichoke hearts, tomatoes, and onions, nothing more then a bite worth and minature sized. The onion was hardly grilled, and the artichoke hearts mushy, leaving only the tomatoes and tofu to try to hold up this platter as some sort of "entree".

Chocolate Martini with the Banana Foster fondue with house made caramel with a hint of banana liquor topped with caramelized bananas foster and vanilla whipped cream, then served with this plate of seasonal fruit (pineapple, strawberries, banana), cheesecake, cookie dough (peanut cookie and chocolate chip cookie), mini-cream puffs, and pound cake. In the back was a nutty wafer. The trick with cooked fruit is that if it is overcooked, it turns a bit sour and gets very mushy, so you need to counterbalance it. This fondue really needed more counterbalance, unfortunately. The stuff on the plate was fine plain, fortunately- a interesting mix, much more then for the veggie entrees.

In summary of my experience, the fondue concoction of cheese and broth were great, though the accompaniments were not. Dessert-wise, the banana foster sounds better then it tastes- maybe go with the traditional chocolate to give justice to the dippings for dessert.

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One of my favorite Happy Hours

I’m a fan of Saucebox. Besides being conveniently by F’s work downtown, they have a very large menu of types of drinks (arranged by base- vodka? gin? rum? champagne?) and their happy hour menu ranges from choices priced between $1-$5 and is two pages long rather then a handful of offerings that other happy hour menus at other establishments offer, so there is enough to please anyone in the group. The atmosphere is trendy. People rave about the bathroom, but besides the shared sink I don’t understand what the big deal is- it’s not even enough stalls. There is a restaurant portion too, but I would only recommend kicking it at happy hour.

Below photos are from multiple visits, not one, don’t worry about my liver…

Take a peek at some of their menu- here’s a vodka sampling. My favorite is the Kickboxer, but I’m a lover of the spicy.

 

Food: vegetarian sushi, spicy pulled pork udon with egg, $2 fries…

 

 

Pork Sarong, which is two meatballs with deep-fried noodles and a tamarind dipping sauce, was ok, but for that same $3 you would be better off with the Crispy Sweet Potato Spring Rolls with lettuce, cilantro, and sour lime dipping sauce. The spring roll is cooked perfectly but a bit bland, but the sour lime dipping sauce made up for it with its burst of flavor. The pulled pork noodles also are a better choice then the peanut noodles: both are slippery and as you eat them with chopsticks (and are drinking), it becomes a whole meal because it takes so long to eat.
Saucebox, happy hour, cocktails, happy hour food, PortlandSaucebox, happy hour, cocktails, happy hour food, Portland Saucebox, happy hour, cocktails, happy hour food, Portland

 

Drinks
The mix of champagne OJ and their house infused chili vodka in the Bubble Bobbler was smooth but with a lil bite at the end, which was interesting. The Love Drop with Raspberry vodka, raspberry puree, lemon lime and cranberry juice was as sweet and fruity as it sounds, a super girly and pretty drink and that pretty much sums that one up.

The Kickboxer, Thai chile vodka with passionfruit puree and citrus juices, topped with raspberry puree. Yum! You get a mouthful of fruitiness, followed by a kick from the chili at the end
Saucebox, happy hour, cocktails, happy hour food, Portland

A special drink one visit, a GojiBerry cocktail “Eternal Youth made with sun-dried, all-natural goji berries from Heaven Mountain in Central Asia
Saucebox, happy hour, cocktails, happy hour food, PortlandSaucebox, happy hour, cocktails, happy hour food, Portland

The shared pineapple drink (which I drink by myself. I’m greedy. It packs a good punch too, ha ha…)
Saucebox, happy hour, cocktails, happy hour food, PortlandSaucebox, happy hour, cocktails, happy hour food, Portland

 

 

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Pine State Biscuit

Besides, Tastebud, one of my favorite booths at the Portland Farmers Market is the Pine State Biscuit stand. Instead of having to go to the physical location on Southeast Belmont and wait in line, staring at other people who are comfortably seated and enjoying their breakfast/brunch, and then finally getting a chance to be one of the stared, the PSU Farmers market gives me the food without that stressful atmosphere. There have been times I have waited 20 minutes in line, sure, but other times I walked right up to put in my order.

Their menu at their booth is of course more limited then their restaurant, but it has the most important ingredients (biscuits, gravy, fried chicken) and the historical plus of this is where and how they started out.

When I just want to enjoy the biscuit, I might order it with the pimento cheese spread to give some tang to the creamy softness of the biscuit

 

When I want to just drink the gravy, I get the biscuits just with gravy. I use a a spoon to scrape my plate clean of this savory richness. Their gravy has lots of chunks of meat and is thick: almost like a meat juice chowder which sounds weird but is outstanding.

 

When I want to enjoy the chicken, well I get the biscuit with fried chicken egg and cheese. I don’t get the Reggie because it has the gravy which is delicious, but overwhelms the goodness of the crispy chicken and the biscuit. And, it’s messy. This is usually what causes the wait in line as you have to sometimes wait for freshly deep fried chicken, but it’s worth the 10 minutes. The meat is juicy on the inside, crispy on the outside: perfect each time despite being done in a booth in a questionable looking deep fry bucket that looks like it’s got plenty of experience.

All three of these are delicious, just depending on what you want to highlight. Mmmmm.

Unfortunately, this shortcut only works as long as the PSU Farmers Market is open, which is mid March through mid December. Around this time of year, most people seem to mistakenly think the market is closed, which is when I enjoy no lines, and the warmth of this homey food is even more satisfying in the chilly air.

Shhh, don’t tell this secret to too many people!

 

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50 Plates- Dinner version

Visited 50 Plates for dinner this time before going to Powell's for some continued foodie fun to hear from the editors of the Fearless Critic Portland Restaurant Guide (a book of reviews written by chefs, food bloggers, and foodies of Portland restaurants) instead of a "professional". Well, ok some of them might be in the industry but at least everyone is reviewing without the chefs and waiters knowing they are being judged- a la Ruth Reichl. Actually, a better comparison might be the Phantom Gourmet that I adore in Boston. Also at this event, I'm sure other foodies will be in attendance.

Anyway, 50 Plates. As I had already realized after my first visit, this is not a place that actually has 50 different kind of plates on its menu so that you can have "dim sum" style tastings of the 50 states (or various states). Instead, they seem to have samplings of All-American food taken to a fancier level. In this new take on America, the look is super-contemporary (well, basically probably what the loft dwellers in Portland's Pearl decorated their condo units all around), a American yuppie who wants American classics that have been made more hip.

And so, the salt dispenser is a cute conversation piece that tries to toe the line between form and function by being all cleverly designed, and the booths in the restaurant section look like they come from a lounge and should be part of the happy hour, but the happy hour area has super modern white chairs that would also fit in Departure Lounge. Everything is black and white.

 

Lemon drop with 5 spice sugar rim is an easy drink to enjoy.

 

 

Who can resist warm sourdough rolls and biscuits?

 

The fries with homemade ketchup were just as crispy as when I had them at lunch- great consistency. The other starter was cheesy poofs- little fluffy yukon potato and white cheddar deep fried bites. They look like bar food that would be greasy and heavy like Bennigan's (RIP) broc and cheese bites, tater tots, or fried mac and cheese, but as soon as you pick one up, you realize how wrong you are. They are light and fluffy like… well, cheetos, but so much tastier and fresh. Clever.

 

 

Vegetarian wise, the succotash with with asparagus, corn, cherry tomatoes, and zucchini and red bell pepper had a rich broth that satisfied on flavor, though the sweet potato puree on the side was a poor sidekick. My spice rubbed lamb chops with anderson ranch lamb, pittsburgh potatoes, locally grown arugula, roasted garlic, cherry tomatoes, & emerald mustard suffered similar grades with its accompaniments. The lamb chops were seasoned and cooked perfectly with the right amount of crispy crust on the outside but juicy medium inside, but the potatoes were drowned in cream (only the crisp burnt parts merited anything), and there were too few of the arugula (maybe a handful of small stems) and tangy cherry tomatoes (again, less then a handful) to balance that richness. I appreciated the whole roasted garlic but seriously- I was given more garlic then veggies. Didn't even notice the mustard below.

 

 

For the price tag on my lamb, I expected more. But, everything else delivered, and the lamb and garlic did try to stand on its own without much side support, so I'll be back. Besides… when the waiter delivered the check, look what fabulous freebie they also gave us to end our meal on a sweet note? Who can resist a goodbye kiss of chocolate richness like this and not want to come back?

 

I haven't read the Fearless Critic restaurant guide, but I like the concept. As soon as I saw that first 50 pages of indexes by best food, best atmosphere, types of cuisine, neighborhood, type of outing (more focused on beer? wine? outdoors?)and also late night (and other categories), I loved how usable it was. This is definitely written by people who understand what it's like to suddenly have to answer the question "where should we go eat?". I think they missed, somehow, the incredible cocktail and also happy hour scene here (cocktails are barely described, and restaurants are rated for beer or wine or drinks, but apparently can't get scored on all 3?), but they did include food carts. There is a happy hour guide out there, but I don't think it has much value- I would trust the write-up of Fearless Critic more because the happy hour book has the substance of a yelp review, while fearless critic at least sounds like there may have been multiple contributors. Oh well, maybe an enhancement for next edition? Or version?

Most cool is besides the book, they also are going to try a subscription version online. Because honestly, I am not going to always have that book in my back pocket, but looking up something at work if there is an impromptu "let's go someplace" or on a mobile device is definitely do-able. Robin (the editor) mentioned that he's been told subscription sites don't work, but a real foodie wouldn't blink at $10 for an app- as long as it is continously updated. Overall, Fearless Critic reminds me a bit of Metromix and Foodie App in Chicago: Metromix is similar to Yelp but had a great search function that Fearless Critic has with its indexes, and each review seems like a summary of a discussion that would have occured in LTH Forum.

 

Or better, wouldn't it be awesome if it is the step that finally starts to build a Portland foodie community? Robin told me that Portland Food and Drink is a contributor to the book. I visit that site once in a while but it doesn't have the same community that LTH Forum does with its boards that allow everyone to have a discussion with pictures, setting up events, translating "secret menus" at ethnic restaurants, even giving out awards to restaurants that are small and up and coming to give them more exposure. Forming a community is the key here because it opens up a discussion instead of a one-sided communication that gets people involved and continues to grow the collective knowledge. Portland Food and Drink reminds me of a local egullet, particularly because of ties to those in the industry vs just those laypeople who like to enjoy good food.

For instance, Phantom Gourmet eventually evolved to have its own community and even its own food festival. Phantom also is a TV show, and has a powerful effect just like the "Check Please" phenomenon in Chicago where once it aired, no one could get into the restaurant anymore because the secret was out and thousands would descend on a "secret gem". Phantom Gourmet's take was similar to Fearless Critic in that it is always an anonymous critic, while Check Please had the genius idea to take 3 people's favorite restaurants and send the other 2 to each of them- and then get them all at the table to talk about their experiences (which I also think Fearless Critic seems to hint that it does). Check Please did a good job of mixing up the restaurants and types of people who would appear, and it was hosted by Alpana Singh- so although not anonymous, it was reviews by the average consumer while also giving a small segment time to profile the restaurant owner/chef on what they are trying to do. 

Often these gems were already well known in the LTH Forums… so the amount of success if Fearless Critic (or even Portland Food and Drink) could have if it was the harbinger on the newly discovered secret gem would be huge, and foodies would be willing to pay a small premium to that insider information. Or, it can be a revealer to the public- a la Phantom Gourmet or Check Please. 

With all the great food here, I know there must be a foodie community out there- but I maybe just haven't found it yet. Fearless Critic is going to need to reach them in order to make this work- so I'm definitely keeping my eye on them.   

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