5 Love Languages

It’s one of my goals for my blog this year to once every couple months, try to write something personal and not just write about food. So here’s my first attempt this year!

Have you ever heard of the 5 Love Languages? I think I learned about it in a college psychology or sociology course. The theory originates from a book in the mid-90s called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

In the book, the author Gary Chapman posits that there are five different ways to express love to another, and similarly to feel love expressed to you by others. This is love that isn’t just expressed between couples- it can be love between you and anyone, be it between family members or friends as well. I even think these work with my kitty.

Images by Photographer Thomas Slack of Slack Photography for the Pechluck Laskey wedding in 2009 Images by Photographer Thomas Slack of Slack Photography for the Pechluck Laskey wedding in 2009

The 5 Love Languages include

  1. Receiving Gifts – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift, to show that you were thinking of them when they were not around and saw something that you thought would please them or that reminded you of them because they know you so well. It shows you are willing to sacrifice the resources to acquire and give that gift. The gift can be bought or made, however large or small, be it a holiday or a surprise everyday gesture. No gifts can translate to them that you don’t think of them and/or they aren’t worth the effort of spending extra time and/or money.
  2. Quality Time – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is having your undivided attention and spending time with each other, be it casually at dinner going over the day or by planning memorable experiences together like a vacation. It’s about being there and 100% present, with quality conversations and quality activities. Lack of quality time translates to them feeling like they are not interesting enough for you to care what they think or have to say, and/or you are self-centered and selfish.
  3. Words of Affirmation – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is hearing love expressed using words. This can be verbally or in written form, validating that you still feel the same way, and the reasons of why you feel that way. It might be through an unsolicited compliment of how they look or something they’ve done, or a love letter, or a text message with a joke to make you smile, just to stay in communication with you. Insults and harsh words are very hurtful and long remembered.
  4. Acts of Service – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is when you take time and effort to do things for them, without being asked.  The service can be small or grand, be it making a surprise candlelit champagne dinner or vacuuming. It is a demonstration of understanding what services will help you. In some cases this may be especially the fact that you don’t like the task, but you are willing to do it anyway because of them and to ease and bear the burden for and with them.Without acts of service, they feel you are lazy, take them for granted and don’t appreciate them.
  5. Physical Touch – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is feeling your touch, be it a hug, cuddle, kiss. It could be the way you link arms as you walk together or brush their shoulder as you walk by It’s about having a physical connection between the two of you, and sometimes even just being in your presence, in the same space, even without touching, means a lot. Touch communicates affection, not just desire, and not having much of it feeds insecurity and emotional distance.

Most often, people understandably make the mistake of expressing their love to another using the love language they value most, but not necessarily what their loved one prefers. Others who are often called romantic or very loving turn out to be intuitively making sure they express love in all of these five ways consistently!

Many times in the early stages of relationships someone might be more likely to express affection in all of these five ways- but then over time narrow down the types of love languages used or the frequency. It could be that simply not expressing love in one of these 5 ways to your loved one tends to be one of the shortcomings that might be seen in you, even though you may feel you ardently expressing love all the time, just because of the love language!

Images by Photographer Thomas Slack of Slack Photography for the Pechluck Laskey wedding in 2009 Images by Photographer Thomas Slack of Slack Photography for the Pechluck Laskey wedding in 2009

You can find out more at The 5 Love Languages Website, which I should give you a heads up also is faith-based (he is a pastor). Whether or not you believe in God though, I think the concepts of 5 Love Languages still resonate, and I thought it was something to ponder as we approach Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages before?

Which of these 5 love languages would mean the most to you?

Can you think of the last time you demonstrated love using each of these languages to a loved one?

Maybe it is time to check in again… not necessarily because its Valentine’s Day tomorrow but because when you thought about someone you want to show love to, you thought of them and you want them to feel loved!

Images by Photographer Thomas Slack of Slack Photography from my wedding in 2009. Oh, was there still somehow a picture of food in there? How  did that happen when I’m talking about love… hmm. Oh well! Love and Peace.

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Lauretta Jean’s Chocolate Peanut Butter Pretzel Pie

Happy National Pie Day!

And… I’m a winner! Lauretta Jean’s asked for ideas of dream pies, and this was my suggestion for this season and they picked it!!! Yaaaaayy!  One of my dream pies has come true! I thought that chocolate and peanut butter, a classic combination of roastyness, would be great balanced by some salt- thus the pretzel addition.

Try their take of my dream pie, the Lauretta Jean’s Chocolate Peanut Butter Pretzel Pie, today at the Lauretta Jean’s Pie Party tonight 7-10 pm at Division St (what! with Pie Trivia! and Prizes! and matching beer or cocktails with pie!), and it’s being sold in both of their locations I believe starting tomorrow!

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Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce

For a New Year’s Eve dinner, we kept it low key and visited a friend for dinner. I was pretty excited since they mentioned they were making steak. I know they get shares (and also distribute) locally grass fed and grass finished beef from Joseph Creek Cattle Company.

I’m always over the moon whenever they have any meat on the table as appetizers during their various cocktail parties. In this case, we were going to do a full on dinner, and when she texted me that she was making steak I totally did a little “Woop!”. When you look at the rib-eyes below, you can see why I am always looking to go straight for any meat plate at their home.
Joseph Creek Cattle Company. Those ribeyes are grass fed, grass finished! Joseph Creek Cattle Company. Those ribeyes are grass fed, grass finished!

Since they were also taking care of dessert, and F was going to bring something from his beer collection, I decided to also bring two sides. One was a vegetarian version of chicken fricassee, which I have made before– I asked F at the grocery store what he would like me to make to make sure he would also be satiated, and this was the dish he picked. This time instead of using Quorn chick’n, I just kept it to plain vegetables of mushrooms, edamame, green beans, . I did not serve it with biscuits this time, just plain since I recalled he was just eating it from the pan last time.

Vegetarian Fricassee

The other vegetarian dish was one I adapted from something I had pinned from Food and Wine, a Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce recipe. The recipe says it serves 6, but I think a 2 pound cauliflower head, once you trim it into florets, only serves 4 people as a side dish unless you have 3 side dishes like we did at this dinner.

Still, the description alone made it seemed like the perfect fit for a New Year’s eve side to accompany a steak before returning to normal scheduled more healthy post-holiday programming menus: “This outrageously rich sauce, flavored with salty, nutty Manchego, gets poured on sautéed cauliflower and baked until it’s golden and bubbling.”

Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Recipe -  outrageously rich sauce, flavored with salty, nutty Manchego, gets poured on sautéed cauliflower and baked until it's golden and bubbling

Ingredients:
Ingredients for a recipe of Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Ingredients for a recipe of Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce- grating Manchego

  • 1/2 cup whole unsalted almonds, plus 2 tablespoons coarsely chopped almonds
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided in half
  • 1 2-3 pound head of cauliflower, cut into 1 1/2-inch florets. As you can see from my photos, with a 2 pound cauliflower the sauce smothers the cauliflower, if you want it to be less sauce increase the cauliflower amount
  • 1 medium onion, finely chopped
  • 3/4 cup half and half
  • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup milk – the recipe calls for whole but to make up for the half and half, I used skim
  • Salt and freshly ground pepper
  • 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons finely shredded Manchego (about 1/2 pound hunk of Manchego). You can also use other mildly nutty cheese, such as Gouda
  • Pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon Spanish smoked paprika – either “sweet” (dulce) or “hot” (picante) works

Directions:

  1. First, roast the almonds. You can buy them already roasted, but it’s so ridiculously easy to roast them in the oven at home too. F loves almonds as a snack, but prefers them raw, so that’s the kind we like to buy. To roast the almonds, lay them flat on a baking pan and put them in the oven at 350 degrees F for 10-15 minutes until you can smell the deliciousness wafting from them. Let them cool until you can handle them. Remember to set aside 2 tablespoons of the almonds which you are going to coarsely chop and use as topping later.
  2. In a large skillet, bring 1/2 inch of salted water to a boil. Add the cauliflower florets, cover and cook over high heat until crisp-tender, about 4 minutes. Drain the cauliflower in a colander and set it aside.
  3. Then, in the same skillet that you have now removed all the water, add 2 tablespoons of butter, on medium heat. Add the chopped onion and cook over medium heat, stirring until lightly browned, about 5 minutes. Increase the heat to high, and add the cauliflower. Stir to mix, and then let it sit there for a few minutes to grown, and then stir to flip the cauliflowers to brown a bit on the other side. Season lightly with salt and pepper. Transfer the cauliflower to a 7-by-10-inch glass or ceramic baking dish.
    Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Recipe - pan fried cauliflower with the onion Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Recipe - pan fried cauliflower with the onion
  4. Now to make the sauce. In a small saucepan, heat the half and half until steaming (stop it before it begins to boil), then transfer it to a food processor or blender. Add the 1/2 cup of whole almonds and process until finely ground. Let stand for 10 minutes. The original recipe instructions are to strain the half and half through a fine sieve set over a bowl, pressing on the almonds to extract as much liquid as possible and then discard the ground almonds. I saw no reason to discard them- I liked the fact they gave a little bit of coarseness to the sauce and made it very thick- so I left the nut half and half mixture alone.
    Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce recipe- sauce in progress Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce recipe- sauce in progress
  5. Back to that same small saucepan which you had used to heat the half and half before. Melt the other 2 tablespoons of butter you have left in that pot. Add in the 2 tablespoons of flour and whisk over moderately high heat for 1 minute until it is browned and cooked. Add the milk and the almond half and half mixture and whisking constantly until everything thickens, 5-7 minutes. Remove from the heat.
    Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Recipe - almond and dairy sauce thickened, about to add manchego cheese
  6. Add 1 cup of the Manchego and whisk until melted. Whisk in the nutmeg; season with salt and pepper. Now top the cauliflower in the baking dish with this manchego and almond sauce. If you’d like to stop now and refrigerate it overnight you can… just bring it to room temperature before baking.
    Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Recipe - making the sauce
  7. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Sprinkle the cauliflower topped with the Manchego and almond sauce with the remaining Manchego cheese, the 2 tablespoons of chopped almonds and the smoked paprika. Bake in the center of the oven for 20 minutes, or until bubbling and browned on top. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.
    Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Recipe - about to go into the oven Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Recipe - about to go into the oven

Make sure you let it stand for 10 minutes before serving, it will be extremely tongue-burning hot!
Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Recipe -  outrageously rich sauce, flavored with salty, nutty Manchego, gets poured on sautéed cauliflower and baked until it's golden and bubbling  Cauliflower with Manchego and Almond Sauce Recipe -  outrageously rich sauce, flavored with salty, nutty Manchego, gets poured on sautéed cauliflower and baked until it's golden and bubbling

And here is the final product, our New Year’s Eve dinner at a friend’s home, after a lovely salad with mustard garlic vinaigrette and prosecco, we plated our dinner entree of butternut squash fettuccine (vegetarian), part of a juicy Joseph Creek rib-eye pan-fried in butter (not vegetarian), vegetarian fricassee, and this cauliflower with manchego almond sauce.
New Year's Eve Dinner with butternut squash fettuccine, part of a Joseph Creek Cattle Company rib-eye, a vegetarian fricassee, and cauliflower gratin with manchego almond sauce New Year's Eve Dinner with butternut squash fettuccine, part of a Joseph Creek Cattle Company rib-eye, a vegetarian fricassee, and cauliflower gratin with manchego almond sauce

And mad props for the wonderful dessert she served an hour before it was countdown time, this awesome hazelnut panna cotta with Pinot Noir strawberries (the vegetarian got chocolate cake with the strawberries don’t worry- since panna cotta has gelatin, it may not be vegetarian safe, depending on your local vegetarian’s rules). She also served a great sparkling wine that after our New Year’s kisses and selfies, we tried with a little drop of her aunt’s raspberry wine, which I was having too much fun to recall to photograph.
Hazelnut Panna Cotta with Pinot Noir Strawberries

They didn’t ask me to plug Joseph Creek Cattle, but if you are interested, feel free to contact Hal at josephcreekcattlecompany dot com. This is not the first time I’ve had that delicious beef (and yes, you can detect a grassier flavor to it)- and hopefully not the last time I am invited over to enjoy it. I totally went for seconds on the rib-eye. You may have heard that grass fed beef is healthier for you- but not only is it lower in calories and fat that its regular beef counterpart, but it is rich in omega 3s and there is ongoing research to see if it can reduce cancer risk. Although the beef is leaner, I still saw some great marbling, and there was definitely some juicyness to that steak as you saw on my dinner plate.

Which of the dishes of my New Year’s Eve dinner sounds most appealing to you? Have you had grass fed, grass finished steak before, and did you notice a difference? Do you think it’s spelled rib eye or rib-eye?

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Happy Holidays 2013: Christmas Decorations

Happy Holidays 2013… Don’t you feel cheered just looking at the below Christmas Decorations?
Christmas Decorations holiday twinkle animated gif of Christmas tree and lights in Pioneer Square downtown Portland
Twinkles from Pioneer Square in Portland. This tree is giant- look below how the people are only reaching the bottom branches!

Downtown Portland had an #uglysweaterpdx campaign that included adorable sweaters on various statues downtown. Some of the sweaters change out- I think because perhaps some people steal them. But the animals then get new sweaters! It’s now sad seeing them without the sweaters, even though I know they don’t actually feel cold.
Downtown Portland had an #uglysweaterpdx Christmas Decorations on statues

Meanwhile in Chicago…White and gold holiday cheer, white and silver holiday Christmas tree at Chicago French Market, then red and gold holiday cheer with trains at Union Station. Google Auto Awesome twinkled these up too. I had no idea that Auto Awesome had a twinkling algorithm, did you?
White and gold silver holiday cheer Christmas Decorations Christmas Decorations on a white and silver holiday Christmas tree at Chicago French Market Christmas Decorations of red and gold holiday cheer with trains at Union Station

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Thanksgiving Menus

For the past few years, every Thanksgiving I put together a silly looking Thanksgiving menu. Here’s a look at the Thanksgiving Menus that have been made the past few years, starting 2010 until this year…



I know, the Thanksgiving Menus are a bit ridiculous.

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